My Dad’s a Goldfish – our last Christmas with him

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Christmas 2013

 

I suppose the approach of Christmas will always now be tinged with sadness. Our last Christmas together was 2013. From time to time during 2014 we thought he’d make it to the next one – and he almost did, dying three weeks before.

Christmas 2013 was unforgettable for several reasons. For one thing, Wee-sis and I felt it might be the last Christmas in which the Goldfish would be able to participate and enjoy it all – how right we were. However, at one point it looked as though we wouldn’t even see the Goldfish over Christmas because the step-monster’s daughter decided her mother and the Goldfish should come to her on Christmas Day. As they always go to the step-monster’s son on Boxing Day we were not going to see him other than a quick visit.

Much discussion and gnashing of teeth followed this announcement and Wee-sis (because she is so much more diplomatic than I am) was sent to negotiate with step-monster’s daughter. It was agreed Christmas dinner would be at my house. The step-monster decided to go to her daughter’s house instead, which rather pleased us. She would only spend the time moaning about how she hates Christmas and how glad she’ll be when it’s over.

Then, two days before Christmas the step-monster dropped a bombshell by announcing she was leaving the Goldfish and going to live in her own house. She’d inherited it from her mother and had been letting out for many years. She wasn’t going to say anything to the Goldfish! Nor was she going to move out until the end of January because she needed to get it decorated.

Throughout the last minute organisation for Christmas – the wrapping of gifts (nothing for the step-monster this year), shopping for food, planning the day – the worry of what was going to happen kept intruding. However, we put our fears for the future to the back of our minds and planned a lovely Christmas Day for the Goldfish.

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The much-loved Yorkshire terrier – with her head balanced very precariously!

 

He had a wonderful time opening his gifts. His favourite was a toy Yorkshire terrier we’d seen in the garden centre. The previous year he had admired it but in those days my ignorance of dementia was limitless and I had dismissed the idea of buying it for him. The following year on our regular pre-Christmas jaunts to the garden centre there were piles of toy dogs – but only one Yorkshire terrier. I didn’t hesitate. It went into the basket along with the Guinness chocolate he (and I) loved.

All through the day, he petted and talked to that dog as it sat on the arm of his chair. When we took him home, we put the dog beside him. Next day, it had been moved out of reach. I put it back on the arm of his chair. Next day, it had been moved out of reach. The step-monster couldn’t bear to see him stroking it as if it were a real dog, couldn’t bear to see the Goldfish behave like a child. I still have the dog. He sits on the back of the sofa. His head his hanging off now but he was hugely loved by the Goldfish for many months.

The Goldfish had a really happy day, surrounded by people who talked to him, grandchildren, nephews and nieces and partners came to visit him and he thoroughly enjoyed his Christmas dinner (with wine) – and had two puddings – and a couple of drams of malt whisky to finish the evening.

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I, along with Wee-sis and my son, watch with pleasure – and some amazement –  as the Goldfish tucks into his last Christmas dinner.

Now, with Christmas rapidly approaching I am so glad we made the last one we had together something really special to remember.

My Dad’s a Goldfish – Tales of Fantasy and Magic

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My friend Julie is using a bit of magic to raise funds for Alzheimer Scotland.

In memory of her father, Graham, who had Lewy Body dementia, Julie Bowmaker has written and published Tales of Fantasy and Magic, a book of nine rhyming stories for children. The book is beautifully illustrated throughout by Langholm-based artist Margaret Walty and has a foreword by Sally Magnusson who said: “Children will love this beautiful – and fun – book.”

There’s Delia Duck, who desperately needs a new hat, Ferdinando, an adventurous camel who learns to swim and a cat called Bonnie who makes her own spaceship along with other characters brought to life by Julie’s wordimg_0001s and Margaret Walty’s glorious illustrations.

Julie remembers how much her father enjoyed his outings in a minibus to the day centre, which prompted her to raise cash for Alzheimer Scotland so that others might benefit. She said: “I always remember him coming home in the minibus looking so pleased and happy. The work Alzheimer Scotland does with their day centres is so important for people with dementia – and their families, who need a break but need to know their loved ones are in good hands.”

She had 500 copies of Tales of Fantasy and Magic printed last year. The books is priced at £5.25, with £3 going to Alzheimer Scotland, the rest retained to pay reprint costs. She has already had to order a second print run and raised £1,500 for the charity.

img_0002She has worked so hard to sell those books. She has not put the book on Amazon because it would take a cut which would complicate the balancing of the books for Julie so she’s been selling them locally at craft fairs, Farmer’s Markets, garden centres and in as many outlets as she can convince to give a bit of shelf space.

The book is available online through a webstore Julie has set up. It’s at http://www.freewebstore.org/tales-of-fantasy-and-magic.

It would make a brilliant Christmas gift for any young children in your life.