“Last night he was only up a couple of times and used the commode – no pee on the floor. Tonight, he has been up twice already, peed all over the floor in the bedroom and is terribly confused. He seems to be worrying about something but can’t articulate what it is. He loses his words terribly at night and can’t say what he wants to say. He keeps trying, which is frustrating for us both.
Fourth time up already. He’s like a jack-in-the-box tonight. He went into the study and sat on the chair by my computer (which is where the Step-monster had her computer). My heart sinks when I hear his bed creak. I suppose it’s not as bad as it seems as it’s not yet midnight. If I feel he’s settled by 1am, I think of it as a good night.
He’s had a dram, two herbal sleeping pills (I’m sure they only have a psychological effect so won’t work for the Goldfish, but I’ll try anything), toast and butter – no sweets, no chocolate, no sugar. Here we go again!
He keeps going in the study so I think he is looking for the Step-monster who spent a lot of time in there. It used to be his room – one wall taken up by his books, his desk where he used to work on Clydesdale genealogies for local breeders – then she took over with her computer and television. He’s up again!
I have no idea what to do next. Phone Alzheimer helpline? I don’t know where he is. I think the study again and this time he’s shut the door. Better go.
Nightmare. I don’t think he’ll sleep. His mind is all over the place – or, in his mind, he is somewhere else. Said he was going to sleep in the study until I pointed out there wasn’t a bed in it. We’ve managed ten minutes back in bed – is it possible we’ll get any longer? I’ve tried intercepting him before he gets out of the bedroom but nothing works. I’ve sat with him in the living room, in the kitchen.
Thinking about the support we need, I’d say I need a complete break of around three to four hours a day, especially if I’m ever going to get any writing work done, and a couple of consecutive nights off but what worries me about that is how it will affect the Goldfish having someone else in the house. And would I trust them to be kind to him?
He’s wandering again. I heard the study door squeaking and now he’s in the toilet, door firmly closed. I’m going to wait for a few minutes.
He’d shit himself before he reached the toilet so twenty minutes plus to get him washed and into clean pyjamas and back into bed. His stomach rumbling ominously as I said goodnight for what felt like the hundredth time.”